


Hum and Humility

by edna_blackadder



Category: Blackadder
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-26
Updated: 2009-08-26
Packaged: 2017-12-07 08:18:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edna_blackadder/pseuds/edna_blackadder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-‘Duel and Duality,’ the Prince Regent eulogises his departed butler.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hum and Humility

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to sarcasticsra for the beta.

The turnout was disappointing, though not altogether surprising. Baldrick sat alone in the pews, his head was bowed in what seemed to be genuine sorrow. Next to Blackadder stood King George, as mad as ever. Blackadder was rather insulted by Mrs Miggins’ absence, though if he had read MacAdder’s latest telegram he would have known that she had the surprisingly reasonable excuse of being equally dead. Well, more dead, as Blackadder was emphatically not dead and loving every minute of it.

‘Well,’ said the minister, looking around awkwardly, ‘shall we get started then, Your Highness?’

‘Yes, I think so,’ Blackadder started, but he was interrupted by the King.

‘I did not know the deceased penguin. However, my son tells me that this is a very sad day for all of us penguin.’

‘Yes, quite,’ said Blackadder, quickly stepping in front of his new father figure. ‘Ahem. Mr Edmund Blackadder was my close personal servant for all of his life, and I for one shall sorely miss him. Blackadder was intelligent, witty and erudite, respected about the town and with good reason. I wish him to be remembered as the cleverest man in London, who deserved far better than the lowly life of a butler. Had he lived longer he would have certainly gone on to achieve great things. I personally urged him many times to share his exceptional talents with the world at large, but ever he remained my stalwart friend, loyal only to king and country.

‘Losing Blackadder is, of course, painful enough in and of itself. My only greater regret is that I so often ignored his advice in governance. It is plain to me now that I have made, for lack of a better phrase, a right mess of things, all of which could have been avoided if I had only listened to my trusted companion. I would like to announce that times are changing as of today, which shall henceforth be known as Edmund Blackadder Day in his honour, with mandatory celebrations in every city in England and Wales. But for now, I say farewell to my dear chum. Farewell...dear chum.’

That last bit wasn’t quite as clever as he would have liked, but the King was now sobbing freely, blubbering on about the dearly departed penguin, and Baldrick was applauding. Blackadder turned to the minister. ‘That’s all, sir.’

‘Right, Your Highness—’ the minister began, but Baldrick stood up.

‘That was a very moving speech, Mr B. Are you going to say anything about the Prince?’

The minister glanced between them, bewildered. Blackadder cleared his throat and said evenly, ‘Baldrick, do you want this to become a double funeral?’

‘Did someone besides the Prince die, then?’

Blackadder remembered his own words, spoken not long ago: If you want something done properly, kill Baldrick before you start. If his reign was going to last longer than Lady Jane Grey’s, it seemed that he would, in fact, have to take his own advice.

Blackadder smiled. He had a feeling he would enjoy Baldrick’s eulogy more than his own. It would be far more his usual style.

Blackadder turned back to the Minister. ‘Ignore him, sir, he’s mentally unsound. His comfortable life as dogsbody to my friend Mr Blackadder is only further testament to the latter’s noble heart. He was a friend to all living things, no matter how odorous, thick-headed and generally contemptible.’


End file.
